Breaking up is always tough, whether it's your idea or your ex's. It can be emotionally painful, embarrassing and awkward, especially if you've been together for a long time. You just have to find the strength to get through it all.

Sometimes there's a lot of anger and hurt feelings, and the ex couple just don't get along. But other times, they remain friendly and get along very well. Sometimes one or both of you even hope you might patch things up and get back together. In such cases, it's usually hard to know how it will all work out.

No matter how you feel about your breakup, one thing is certain. DO NOT get intimate with your ex while you are trying to figure things out. No matter what you think, no matter how tempting it might be, sexual intimacy always carries with it other, bigger emotional issues. You need to stay clear and decide whether you want to move on, or give your former relationship another try.

By all means remain friends. If you both want to, spend time together. You don't have to be enemies - in fact, it will be much easier to figure out what you both really want if you can be kind to each other and show respect for each other's feelings. But the complications of having sex with your ex, when you are trying to rebuild your life or your relationship, just make matters worse.

At such a difficult, emotional time, you want to make smart decisions. You want to do the right thing for yourself AND your ex. Carrying on an intimate relationship leaves you both vulnerable to a great deal of potential pain and disappointment. You don't need that kind of heartache.

A breakup can be extremely complicated on many levels. You have shared friends, experiences, possessions, memories. All of these things need to be worked out. Adding a sexual relationship to the mix only makes things that much more complicated. If the subject comes up, be firm. Discuss it with your ex. Explain that there are many more important things in a relationship than sex - and that until you are sure all those other things are there so that you can have a successful relationship that works for you both, sex will have to wait.

Go easy on yourself. There are so many things to deal with after a breakup. Don't make it harder. Let the physical side of your relationship go, at least during this difficult time, and free your mind, heart and body for whatever lies ahead - with or without your ex.

Even if it is comforting at the time, don't hold on to the past. A breakup is painful; but it is also a great opportunity to reinvent your life and what you want in a relationship. Whether it's with your ex, or with the TRUE love of your life, exercising self-control and allowing yourself the time and freedom to have what you really want, will be worth it!

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